Today was hard. Maybe I’ve said that everyday. Today was hard. I got on the mat. I got off the mat. I got on. Off. I felt a little like shattering glass. Even when I was on the mat I was someplace else. I lost track of where I was in the practice. I sat for periods of time just wanting to get off the mat. I was preoccupied w/ everything else. I had to cook eggs, had to get stuff in the mail, had to start the laundry, had to continue an argument in my head. There was a point when I was done. I couldn’t continue. I knew I had a lot riding on it given that I’m writing the blog. So, I prayed. The immediate answer I got was a gentle, “Get on the mat and do it.” I managed to finish. I didn’t do many vinyasas between poses, but did a full practice.
My heart was missing.
“Pray for us.” So, there’s this thing that happens in part of the mass sometimes where everyone responds faster than the preist or Pope with “Pray for us” repeating, like a chant. I’m hearing that now. “Pray for us.” I’m hearing it like a suggestion: “Pray for us.”
I can devote these sessions to someone…someone who needs prayers. Through this, I might gain back my focus.